Even the Happiest Fall Down

So long, beloved.

You are now someone else’s

But still my dearest.

–Almost (KC Moroño, 2010)

I know. This is a post more appropriate for my personal blog, but I want to share what I have learned from New Social Media just recently.

New Social Media can do as much as to break your heart. Or be a tool for breaking your heart.

I found out that my ultimate crush (we can also say “love”), who I have been (a little) close to, is courting another girl. Guess where I heard (or read) about it: yes, on Facebook, the best Social Media platform to play with your feelings.

What I did with Facebook

Primarily, it was Facebook’s fault. Had he not been a Facebook contact, then I wouldn’t have found out about it. I could have just moved on with my life, loving him in my own fantasy world, writing him letters he will never read, and including his name in the letter to be opened after I die. But it wasn’t the case; in fact, I became too much obsessed that I have a separate friend list for him so that he’s easier to follow (or stalk).

Innocence is bliss, indeed.

After finding out WHAT is going on, I closed that perpetually open chatbox which used to light up when he would talk to me, and hid all his future updates from my News Feed. I could not go as far as to delete him from my friends list, because seriously, I still… you know.

What I did on and outside Facebook

You know me; I’m an emotional blogger and writer (say hello to this blog post). After I found out and the tears have subsided, I wrote a poem (or whatever you may call it) to express everything. I promised that after writing that poem, I’m over and done (but again, say hello to this blog post). I posted it as a note on Facebook, and also as an entry on my personal blog, because as what I have said on my previous entry, it feels so good to just shout your feelings on the cyberworld.

And some comments can also make you feel good.

I also went to Youtube to watch crazy videos and forget about what happened. I watched bloopers of my favourite TV show, Chuck, and listened to feel-good music. I engrossed myself in my part-time job, teaching English to Japanese students via Skype.

What I did outside New Social Media

Having a cousin, a brother, and a lola that are always ready to lend their ears beats every New Social Media platform. It was to them that I poured out everything. They shared their words of advice, the ever so gasgas but still helpful line: “He’s not the one for you”, and taps on the shoulder. And then I felt better.

What I have learned

1.      If cyber stalking can be avoided, please avoid it. Trust me, it never did me good.

2.      Do not wait for the pain before you surrender. It’s crazy how I never learned before.

3.      New Social Media can be a tool for breaking your heart.

4.      New Social Media can help you cope with a broken heart.

5.      Face-to-Face conversations with people who actually care is still the best.

And the best and most important lesson:

6.      Always trust in the Lord and believe in His plans for you.

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21 Comments Add yours

  1. Pattydc says:

    Will you be mad if I say that I find this post cute? *HUG*

    I’m sorry for your discovery Kicci, but I’m sure that you’ll meet your Mr. One and Only someday. I like your post because it shows the duality of new social media. It can’t be viewed as something good to us all the time, but then again it’s not all bad either. It just is what it is I guess.

    1. KC says:

      Not mad, Patty. The “cuteness” of this post is an attempt to make myself interesting for him. hahaha! no, I’m not emo 😛

  2. On a personal note, your post speaks exactly of my being two years ago. New social media broke my heart, too, those days. I hated how I kept on viewing a profile that was painful to look at. However, I also found comfort to new social media. I deleted my Friendster account, signed up on Facebook, found a ‘home, moved on, and stayed happy…until now. Whatever you’re going on right now (I know it’s hard to move on), just hold on and of course, intellectualize. This may sound geeky but I think this helps. On my previous post, I connected new social media to depression, and then learned why I behave that way years ago. Okay this is getting somewhere else….haha.

    Anyway, I believe that new social media also poses the challenge for us to be ourselves at the end of the day. The dissonance of our ‘ideal selves’ and ‘real selves’ will always be on the run with new social media accentuating this. Because it’s so much easy now to access people’s information, the more we get to know them. The more that we have the tendency to compare ourselves with them. The more that we want to seek for others’ attention. The more that we need affiliation and belonging. Things like that. And it is so pretty amazing how one social networking site causes these all.

    🙂

  3. blahblahblogsheet says:

    Patty is right, this post is just so cute!! 🙂 Sorry, female hormones are kicking in. LOL Regarding cyber stalking, yes I do that too. And surely, I see posts that hurts me though I shouldn’t read in the first place. That’s why I agree that as much as possible, stop stalking someone online.

    Also, Nothing beats face to face communication. Virtual hug can never replace your friends’ arms. 😀

  4. juolpindo says:

    I must agree that face-to-face communication is still the best channel of communication. You may want to confront him and verify your assumptions. Mediated communication sometimes hides the intent of the writer that he or she could never hide when talking to him or her face-to-face 🙂

  5. sarahforward says:

    Wow KC, you really got in touch with this one. I never knew you took stalking online seriously. Especially with a crush. You even wrote letters and poems for him. Cheesy much? Kidding aside, I wish you could still find the guts to be friends with the guy even if he is already interested with someone. I’m sure you’re one of his treasured friends. Imagine if the situation is the other way around, wouldn’t you want to still have the same friends even if you are already going steady with someone? I think it’s brave of you to let this out and writing about it will eventually make you feel better. Stuff like this will surely make you more mature and you will value the relationship you have with people offline than online.

    Someday, when you finally meet “the one”, it’s good to look back and laugh about experiences like this. Trust me, I had a one big guffaw (*wink*)

  6. gj says:

    points 1 thru 6 were epic epic wins. 🙂 ihugshoo friend! :*
    i totally agree with 1, we should be conscious and active of our social media use, and the consequences.
    4 and 5 hit it spot on. The web hosts a multifaceted array of resources from the disturbing, absurd, senseless, problematic and tear-jerking, to the comforting, logical, sensible and helpful to the point of life-saving.
    well said my friend. 🙂

  7. Mina Loyola says:

    If there is something that I realized after this, it’s that new social media is an extension of the ‘real’ reality. We cannot expect it to be a dreamland where people act as if they’re for us. After all, social media is operated by the same creatures we see real-time.

    But of course, this is not to say that new social media is void of emotions whatsoever. Facebook might have been the medium for breaking your heart, but who knows, you might find The One through it! 😀

  8. mavcastillo says:

    Aww.Hug KC! Honestly, I don’t know how I’ll react to this post since I know for a fact how New Social Media(ehem Facebook) can make you “discover” things you would have rather choose not to know. And yes, stalking is a double-edged sword. It feeds your obsession but can also break your heart.

    Oh well, I guess it will all boil down to how we cope with all the available information that the Internet is pushing into us. With the advent of New Social Media, particularly rss feeds, it’s rather hard to choose not to know. They say” Information is power” but I couldn’t agree more that sometimes it’s more important to consider that “Ignorance is bliss”.

  9. Kcee, my friend! 🙂
    I totally understand how you feel. It also happened to me, months before we had this blogging requirement, months before I cared about New Social Media. I saw how they got together, I know their anniversary. I’m hardcore. But I also saw how he got broken hearted. He smiled and thank the world for the girl she love the most. Then he became emo and questioned the same world he thanked and celebrated with. I was able to witness all that beacause of New Social Media.

    It’s amazing how we get lessons regarding NSM from the seemingly normal situations in life. Before, it’s the “I should never got close to him in the first place!” line but now, even if you’re not friends with them personally, get your heart ready to be shattered to pieces.

    In real life, you need to go back to your problem to solve it. Talk to the person you have a fight with. Go back to the scene of the crime to solve it. It’s the same with NSM. If NSM got your heart broken, it can heal you as well. 🙂

  10. niccy says:

    Awww… kici… *HUG*

    Well, that’s what the Pandora’s Box of New Social Media is all about- surprises, expected and unexpected surprises! I guess it’s natural for us to want to know what’s going on with the people around us, especially the people we care about (in your case, it was Mr. The One) I get ugly news myself but to hell! I asked for it, right? So partly, it’s my fault as well.

    Trick is not to let it eat you alive. There are good news out there made to make you smile. You just have to keep on reading! Overtime, that bad news which made you cry will be buried down the feed by better ones.

  11. To the heart and mind, ignorance is kind. Sometimes we find comfort in the dark. Knowing or not knowing is really our choice. But take my word for this, in my line of work, which involves decision making at every second of my existence, I’d rather have a lot of stuff (even disgusting, nasty, painful) to know from the start, so that I will know and be prepared how to face it, than eff up in the end, regret, and just drown in the thought of what might and could have been.

    Remember the Quirino Grandstand Hostage Taking Total Fail? Undeniably, the cause was training, faulty intelligence gathering and lack of coordination and collaboration. Those pretty much sums upthe causes of TOTAL FAILURES.

  12. Marj Casal says:

    You know, I stalk Ian on Facebook, too! By logging in his account. Haha. Just imagine how heartbroken I will be if I find something. 😐 But of course, I’m not that “praning” to I open his account everyday. No, no, I really am not. (Are you even convinced?)

    Kidding aside, Facebook played with my feelings, too you know. 😐 My comments are always mistaken for a bitch comment. I gain enemies rather than friends in Facebook. Oh well, that’s the limitations of new social media, the other person would never know how I really feel about that comment I made. To you: So don’t judge you know! Hmpf.

  13. Hi KC, I also stalked my highschool crush before through social media. Well, during our higschool days it was still Friendster that time. Haha. Sometimes, it’s nice to know things about people you like even though you are too shy to approach them. I think that if you just admire a person and just want to discover random things about him checking his SNS accounts would probabaly a “kilig” moment but if you would really want to get to know a person well, I think nothing beats a good face-to-face conversation. 🙂

  14. chocostraws says:

    I feel sorry that you are hurting because of a guy. 😦

    But I’m even more disappointed that you would resort to just giving up. GIRL, the battle is not yet over. Sinagot na ba siya? You know what you should be doing is to get closer with this person, and be sure that if ever his lovedoll would not say ‘yes’, YOU ARE THE SECOND CHOICE. That’s why McDonalds never leaves this country. And that’s why TV5 became popular. Because their target is to be the closest alternative.

    You should unhide him in news feed. The best way to win a battle is to be prepared.

  15. shecainess says:

    we were together during the orcom event last friday without me knowing what you went through recently. i’m so sorry kc. he’s just not the one for you. anyway, i haven’t really tried stalking as in following someone online, but i’ve done some research of people who were in my past whom i shares something with (friendship ha) hehe. it sucks that you had to go through all that, online. but at least you were the first one to know.

  16. KC says:

    Hey everyone, thank you very much for your support. This is exactly what I am talking about: New Social Media can make you feel good, but it is just a tool. It is of no use if not of friends like you. 🙂

    Thank you for sharing your stories and opinions, thank you for your love, even if this is the nth time that I have posted an entry like this (only in my personal blog, if you are a regular visitor), for all the virtual hugs and for finding this post “cute” (haha), although this is merely expressing myself. Even sidekicks have their off days, ya know. Haha 😀

    Aira, your comment is the best. You are born to be a motivational speaker. Haha! 😉

    Thanks, Batchmates, for being a bright and awesome bunch, and for remaining sane and rational when others are not. Hugs 🙂

    PS. Maybe I should post another entry for this. Haha! 🙂

    1. chocostraws says:

      I love you KC. 😀

  17. discraft says:

    KC! Remember my report on Alvin Toffler’s Third Wave? Technology sped everything up for societies and they couldn’t handle it. Technology might speed up our social life but love isn’t something technology can really tamper with. 🙂

  18. I agree with lesson number 3 and 4!!! Yes, Social Media have made me fall in love, have broken my heart and have healed my broken heart. What’s funny is that, this cycle will keep on repeating over and over again. We should be reminded that the Social Media is just a tool or a supplement to our emotions. 🙂

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